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| Source: Pietra Schwarzler Unsplash |
Everyone - in every stage of life - gets critiqued.
That mum should be breastfeeding because 'breast is best'. The 'top dog' of a company still has to answer to a board of directors and corporate. A self-employed person 'works too much' but 'should be working' if they take a break during the week. Hell, my assignments have received a lot of critiques.
Humans are flawed. Fact. Some of us are perpetually late. Some of us take on too many commitments. Some of us interrupt conversations. Some of us can't function without our daily cup of coffee (or ten). How do you feel when you're called out on your behaviours?
Not very good. When we face criticism we see it as an attack on our personality and our very being. Some of us think the person is 'out to get us' and dwells on the criticism into the wee hours of the morning. I've never been that person.
Receiving any form of criticism is never fun, but it's an opportunity to develop through positive action.
Want to know how I do it?
01. Get out of your head
Receiving criticism sucks. Let's face it. No one likes being told they need to improve in an area, especially if it is one close to their heart. In university, I had to do weekly readings for my creative writing class. We were given a topic and expected to have a piece to read aloud. In front of 10-15 others. It took a long time, but I taught myself to get out of my own head.
They weren't critiquing me, they were critiquing the material in front of them. It wasn't a reflection on me. I hadn't failed. I discovered worrying about potential criticism held me back. I wasn't motivated. I didn't enjoy writing. It dulled my creative spark. It took most of the semester for me to realise that constructive criticism was a positive thing and I could use it to improve.
02. Own it
Owning the criticism is harder to do. It's actively acknowledging your flaws and admitting it to the world. However, owning the criticism means you can turn it into positive actions. I'm perpetually late. I often underestimate traffic delays, how long it takes to find a car park and how difficult it is to situate the stroller, baby and his accompaniments. Needless to say, I'm almost always twenty-minutes late. Or I was.
Now, I leave twenty-minutes before I think I need to leave and I end up being on time. About 90% of the time. In regards to the other 10%, I end up calling the other person to say that I'll be late. Owning the criticism took a long time. I'm stubborn, so I don't like to admit my flaws. Until one day, I had a light-bulb moment. I didn't want to be stuck in a perpetual cycle of being late and - subsequently - stressed.
The simple step of owning the fact that I'm perpetually late enabled me to take positive actions to improve myself (and my relationships).
03. Reflect and reassess
This ties in with the 'owning it' factor. You've admitted there's something you can work on. Now what?
Reflect on your actions and try to pinpoint the areas that need work. Mine was time-management and organisation. Yours might be needing to relax. When you look back at your actions, don't think about it as looking back on failure. Think about looking back as a way forward in your life.
From your reflection, create small goals or everyday tasks that will contribute to an overall positive effect. You'll be well on your way to killin' it in no time!
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| Source: Eddie Garcia / Unsplash |
04. Find a mentor
Find someone in your office, university or friend group who is willing to be a mentor. Ask them questions. Every single question you can think of. Ask them how they got to be where they are and their struggles along the way. You'll learn that everyone faces criticism and it's often the reaction that is the deciding factor in your life. Learn everything you can from them.
Maybe it was your mentor who was offering the criticism. Ask them why this particular area needs work, what you can do to improve and how success is measured. I'm sure they'll be more than willing to help you improve. After all, your success is their success, too.
05. Change up your routine
I'll admit, I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm a part-time student and a full-time solo mum. At the moment, my life is in the home so I have the privilege of being able to adapt my lifestyle in a variety of ways. Some people aren't so lucky; however, a small change to your routine can be all you need.
Try waking up ten minutes earlier and sitting in silence. Morning meditation and yoga can do wonders for the body and mind. Drink a hot coffee without running around the house like a headless chicken. Get up half an hour earlier and do a quick workout, read a book or have a proper breakfast. These are all small, positive steps that are guaranteed to make you feel better and be more productive during your day.
A happier, calmer person is a more productive person. No one can complain about that.
06. Work smarter, not harder
Some people will take criticism as an attack on their work ethic. Sometimes it is, but 90% of the time it is not the case at all. You don't have to work harder to receive praise. Review your work process and see if there's any way you can achieve more without burning out.
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How do you deal with criticism? Have you ever had to critique someone else's work? How do you deal with stress?
