Turning Criticism into Positive Action

May 14, 2018

Source: Pietra Schwarzler Unsplash

Everyone - in every stage of life - gets critiqued.

That mum should be breastfeeding because 'breast is best'. The 'top dog' of a company still has to answer to a board of directors and corporate. A self-employed person 'works too much' but 'should be working' if they take a break during the week. Hell, my assignments have received a lot of critiques.

Humans are flawed. Fact. Some of us are perpetually late. Some of us take on too many commitments. Some of us interrupt conversations. Some of us can't function without our daily cup of coffee (or ten). How do you feel when you're called out on your behaviours?

Not very good. When we face criticism we see it as an attack on our personality and our very being. Some of us think the person is 'out to get us' and dwells on the criticism into the wee hours of the morning. I've never been that person.

Receiving any form of criticism is never fun, but it's an opportunity to develop through positive action

Want to know how I do it?

01. Get out of your head
Receiving criticism sucks. Let's face it. No one likes being told they need to improve in an area, especially if it is one close to their heart. In university, I had to do weekly readings for my creative writing class. We were given a topic and expected to have a piece to read aloud. In front of 10-15 others. It took a long time, but I taught myself to get out of my own head

They weren't critiquing me, they were critiquing the material in front of them. It wasn't a reflection on me. I hadn't failed. I discovered worrying about potential criticism held me back. I wasn't motivated. I didn't enjoy writing. It dulled my creative spark. It took most of the semester for me to realise that constructive criticism was a positive thing and I could use it to improve.

02. Own it
Owning the criticism is harder to do. It's actively acknowledging your flaws and admitting it to the world. However, owning the criticism means you can turn it into positive actions. I'm perpetually late. I often underestimate traffic delays, how long it takes to find a car park and how difficult it is to situate the stroller, baby and his accompaniments. Needless to say, I'm almost always twenty-minutes late. Or I was. 

Now, I leave twenty-minutes before I think I need to leave and I end up being on time. About 90% of the time. In regards to the other 10%, I end up calling the other person to say that I'll be late. Owning the criticism took a long time. I'm stubborn, so I don't like to admit my flaws. Until one day, I had a light-bulb moment. I didn't want to be stuck in a perpetual cycle of being late and - subsequently - stressed. 

The simple step of owning the fact that I'm perpetually late enabled me to take positive actions to improve myself (and my relationships).

03. Reflect and reassess
This ties in with the 'owning it' factor. You've admitted there's something you can work on. Now what?

Reflect on your actions and try to pinpoint the areas that need work. Mine was time-management and organisation. Yours might be needing to relax. When you look back at your actions, don't think about it as looking back on failure. Think about looking back as a way forward in your life.

From your reflection, create small goals or everyday tasks that will contribute to an overall positive effect. You'll be well on your way to killin' it in no time!

Source: Eddie Garcia / Unsplash
04. Find a mentor
Find someone in your office, university or friend group who is willing to be a mentor. Ask them questions. Every single question you can think of. Ask them how they got to be where they are and their struggles along the way. You'll learn that everyone faces criticism and it's often the reaction that is the deciding factor in your life. Learn everything you can from them.

Maybe it was your mentor who was offering the criticism. Ask them why this particular area needs work, what you can do to improve and how success is measured. I'm sure they'll be more than willing to help you improve. After all, your success is their success, too.

05. Change up your routine
I'll admit, I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm a part-time student and a full-time solo mum. At the moment, my life is in the home so I have the privilege of being able to adapt my lifestyle in a variety of ways. Some people aren't so lucky; however, a small change to your routine can be all you need.

Try waking up ten minutes earlier and sitting in silence. Morning meditation and yoga can do wonders for the body and mind. Drink a hot coffee without running around the house like a headless chicken. Get up half an hour earlier and do a quick workout, read a book or have a proper breakfast. These are all small, positive steps that are guaranteed to make you feel better and be more productive during your day.

A happier, calmer person is a more productive person. No one can complain about that.

06. Work smarter, not harder
Some people will take criticism as an attack on their work ethic. Sometimes it is, but 90% of the time it is not the case at all. You don't have to work harder to receive praise. Review your work process and see if there's any way you can achieve more without burning out.

~

How do you deal with criticism? Have you ever had to critique someone else's work? How do you deal with stress?

You Might Also Like

18 comments

  1. I love the 'find a mentor' part! It's so hard to remember were not alone sometimes and that people actually want to be a part of our journey. Thank you for sharing this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right? I remember getting into a fight/serious 'discussions' with one of my university lecturers. All because of something I said and he called me out on it. We resolved it and he ended up being one of the best mentors I could have asked for! We're definitely not alone. Everyone wants you to succeed :)

      Delete
  2. Good article, I totally agree with these points. It took me a long time to learn how to accept criticism. It can be very constructive and helpful for us if we learn how to won it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There has to be a certain 'tone' with criticism. I've found some people to be better at delivering it than others. I tend to be a bit blunt, so I'm currently working on being more empathetic and reading people when delivering messages.

      Delete
  3. An inspiring post.Positive thinking is a mental and emotional attitude that focuses on the bright side of life and expects positive results.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Needed this one badly today. After a tough day spending time with quality blogs is really a great refreshment. Thanks for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for taking the time to read! I hope you had a better day today :)

      Delete
  5. this is great. i was just telling my mom this earlier, that with my move coming up everyone is critizicing and basically saying i am doing it all wrong and i said, no your way is your way my way is my way and said if i mess up then i will deal with that. but i am totally owning it and living it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! Sometimes you just have to live your truth and accept that whatever will happen, will happen. I'm a big believer in that things 'meant to happen' will happen, no matter which path/advice you follow. I have my fingers crossed for you. I'm sure it'll all work out!

      Delete
  6. I love your sunnies and the sunflowers. Sometimes we have to roll with it and suck it up. I think you offered some great suggestions. I believe that finding a mentor is an excellent idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I mean by 'owning it'. Sometimes we just have to accept the criticism, deal with it and find a way to move forward. Thank you!

      Delete
  7. This is such a great way to turn things in your favor. Learn from it, don't let it get to you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lovely post! Totally agree with your points!😊

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a great post, and totally agree with you on sometimes just owning it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I deal with cristism well. Thse are great tips and I will implement them to continue to grow.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's always to think positively when someone else is trying to criticize you. Thanks for these tips.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is a great post, I love your honesty. "Own It" is so hard to do, it is much easier to deflect and blame others, I am working on making this better.

    ReplyDelete